Listen to Understand Not to Reply

I can’t believe that I am in my mid forties and about to admit that I have been a bad listener. I have been conversing all wrong as I was usually focused on my reply and not putting my focus into understanding what the other person was saying. Recently I have been focusing on listening to understand, and I am already seeing the difference in how it is being received by others.

It is human nature for people to enjoy talking, especially about themselves. So I have been trying to give people my attention to fully hear them out and take in all that is being shared. It has resulted in people being appreciative that I gave them a forum to fully share their thoughts. I also think that people are consciously or subconsciously aware that I am listening instead of participating in a back and forth discussion that can also sometimes be exhausting.

In the past I would get so excited in a conversation for my very intelligent and usually very witty reply. However, it would cause me to miss pieces of relevant information being shared. I also don’t think that people enjoy the back and forth as much as they like being heard all the way through.

So this is a work in progress, but I can see that people are enjoying my improved listening and there are stronger bonds being formed as a result. Being that one of my passions in life is to lift people up, there is no doubt that shutting up and listening has been a step in the right direction. Even though it is a work in progress, and I have a long way to go before it is a habit, it is totally worth it.

I am so grateful for you listening and reading my blogs. This is why I feel closer to each of you.